Sync'd

The universe is speaking to us. Stories and lessons about how I am learning to listen.

“Our duty, as men and women, is to proceed as if limits to our ability did not exist. We are collaborators in creation.”
― Pierre Teilhard de Chardin

Unified

Several months have passed since my last post. With all that continues to unfold in our country and the world, it is difficult to find a sense of inspiration. Every February several of my closest friends spend the month with me. As the daily Presidential updates that seem Orwellian and difficult to fathom rolled through the hourly news highlights, it was comforting to have old friends at my breakfast and dinner table. I’ve tuned out 90 percent of the shrill updates from talking heads, but at some point, it becomes civically irresponsible to turn away from the unfolding democratic wreckage. To put something positive into the ether, this post will focus on several uplifting synchronicities that emerged during the Naples and Cape Coral pride festivals a few months ago.

Initially my plan was to attend the Cape Coral pride events occurring just across the Caloosahatchee River and only a few miles from my home. A friend was planning to meet me there but canceled at the last minute. Having been to dozens of Pride parades and celebrations, I’ve reached the point in my life where it’s hard to rekindle the excitement these events created in my 20’s and 30’s. That said, with all that’s going on in the world, I felt the pressure to show up and be counted. Southwest Florida is known for its conservative vibe and sadly this has forced too many gay and lesbian citizens to live in the shadows. In this community I often feel the weight of being marked as different. Within a few years my house will probably be put on the market, and I’ll move to a more welcoming city in Florida.

“Marked” is a powerful word with historical implications connected to the German concentration camps, so it seems important to share a few examples of how and why the feeling emerged in me. Like many of us, I have a complicated and tedious relationship with an adjacent neighbor who reminds me of Darlene Snell for those of you who have watched Ozark. Last year, after a disagreement about the source of water pooling in her yard after a record setting torrential downpour, a series of inflammatory texts flooded my phone and the last one ended with, “And rumor has it, you’ve been with a married man.” The statement cut deeper than I would like to admit. For the record, I was in a relationship with a man who was married, and we met several years after his divorce. This transition was difficult for his two youngest children in their mid to late teens, but over our three-years together they embraced me and the process of patiently getting to know them is something that I’ll always cherish.

Darlene’s inaccurate and demeaning statement was jarring and stands as an example of what’s unfolding now for many LGBTQ+ citizens as one of the many constituencies being marginalized and dehumanized. She is now blocked from my phone and was advised to communicate through the city’s code enforcement office or an attorney.

In mid-December, leaving my house early one morning to walk the dog, a 25-foot strip of pink duct tape was found affixed to the public sidewalk and was centered directly in front of my home. Quite confused, I asked several neighbors if this could be a signal of upcoming city infrastructure improvements. They confirmed that city projects are always marked in yellow or orange and with spray paint. While walking the dog, I reflected on the historic LGBTQ+ symbol of the pink triangle, as the way we were marked in the concentration camps. Assertive symbols and threatening gestures have power and now is not the time for any of us to stand down. I filed a police report and used a black Sharpie to share the following message: To the person who left this under the cover of darkness. Love is love and love lives in the light. Hate lives in darkness and has only itself. Love is love … love is love … love is love … I left the pink tape in place for over two weeks and finally pulled it up on New Years Day.

It is still a mystery as to what it meant or who put it there, but I felt emboldened by calling it out as a cowardly action. Oddly, the day it was discovered I was washing windows inside the house and spotted Darlene Snell walking around the sidewalk adjacent to the pink tape. For the record, in the three years that I’ve owned this house, I’ve never even seen her walk down the driveway.

Ultimately, I couldn’t muster the enthusiasm to attend the Pride festivals. While taking my dog for a late afternoon stroll that day, we passed an old white frame house not even a block away from my home with one of the only supportive yard signs affirming all types of diversity. I’ve wanted to meet the owner, but for two years I’ve never been able to catch someone entering or exiting the house. As we walked by, a dog jumped off the porch and headed over to my pooch. The owner was right behind him, and I was able to thank her for the courageous statement in the front yard. A few minutes later, turning another corner, I spotted a senior citizen placing a small Pride flag in her garden and I waved with a gesture of support. The next morning on another street just a block from my house, I spotted a message that must have been carved into wet cement decades ago on an aging sidewalk: Dennis loves Tom.

Symbols are important. During these challenging times I find myself reflecting on a favorite plaque in my living room holding the words Union Differentiates. Pierre Teilhard de Chardin, an extraordinary priest born in the late 1800s who was also a paleontologist and geologist, named this concept. His writings suggest that for a union to be successful, its individual parts must be able to perfect and fulfill themselves. The individual parts/elements – be they cells, persons, groups or nations – do not lose their identity and merge into the whole, but paradoxically become more of themselves. In this process the depth and uniqueness of their separate identities becomes increasingly accentuated and the whole/union is strengthened. Sound familiar? The concept seems to capture the dynamic vision of the Founding Fathers to create an ever-expanding union.

As you might imagine, during most of his early life, Father Chardin’s writings were condemned by the Catholic Church. He was known for loving Easter Sunday and always said that if any of his works and words were true and aligned with God, may he die on Easter Sunday. He passed on April 10^th, 1955, Easter Sunday of that year. Thankfully, his writings and work can now be found in any Catholic bookstore.

During this time when many of our country’s leaders view the constitutional vision of creating a more perfect union as the pursuit of exclusionary tactics pushing people, countries, constituencies away, we need to find a higher unifying concept. With so many Democratic leaders hiding under their desks and passive Republicans surrendering their elected responsibilities, I believe there is a MIDDLE MAJORITY that can and must speak out. The higher ideals of distributive power and consensus building support the differentiation that can empower American exceptionalism to overshadow and weaken the divisiveness of this President.

With so much happening at once it is almost impossible to decide how, when and where to engage in constructive civil dialogue and activism. Perhaps it is best to begin with a few overarching concepts and principles that the MIDDLE MAJORITY could align around. I’m attempting to kick off this process by putting forth three suggestions below. I welcome recommended edits, additions or ideas.

Principle #1

Elected officials should be committed to exercising their role in the governing process. Especially at the Congressional level, votes must be taken to approve Presidential actions extending beyond executive authority.

The institutions of American Democracy were designed around the principles of distributive power and the intentional separation of governmental entities to create important checks and balances. This system imbues a creative tension requiring discourse, artful negotiation and compromise. Over the past several hundred-years this intentional constructive governing tension has been the source of tremendous creativity and ingenuity fostering unparalleled innovation addressing many complex problems and building the strongest and most resilient economy in the world. The creative tension of checks and balances must be sustained.

Principle #2 (shared in a previous post)

Collaboration and consensus building is a core strength of American Democracy’s distributive power and the separation of government entities. Both political parties are increasingly inclined to turn their back on collaboration. This is inefficient, creates unnecessary gridlock and fuels a growing divisiveness.

Consider calling several of your elected officials and ask them how they are working with the other party on an initiative or issue. Specific topics or issues are irrelevant to your inquiry and will only lead to a distracting conversation. The goal is to send the clear message that gridlock will no longer be tolerated and the expectation going forward is consensus building and collaboration regardless of the issues. Request a specific example of how the elected official has collaborated in the past or plans to in the future. If members of Congress receive 100 of these phone calls, it will make a difference by creating an unprecedented buzz.

Principle #3

Term limits or a self-imposed limit on how long any elected official SERVES must be part of responsible leadership. It should be an expectation that every individual elected to any office, immediately begins to develop a vision for their exit from a position of SERVICE. The lifelong political careers that continue to unfold are a significant part of the problem. Too many elected officials are interested in riding in parades and being treated like celebrities than a commitment to the serious and difficult work of addressing our nation’s challenges, deficits and critical planning needs for the future.

Both political parties and many officials elected to office by the existing political infrastructure are equally responsible for years of unproductive and unnecessary gridlock. The defensiveness, self-righteousness and personal narcissism that seems to be the source of the ideological chasms is a contradiction to the interpersonal and civic creativity that fueled the rise of our great democracy. Pick up your phone and look at the ridiculous partisan text messages that have probably been received from both parties and Presidential candidates. This example alone indicates how both parties habitually try to appeal to the voter using communication tools, tactics and messaging that’s beneath American exceptionalism.

As citizens it’s imperative we find ways to elevate the institutions of American Democracy to the high standards of the vision to Create a More Perfect Union. The Middle Majority has the power if it is will to manifest it.